Experience check - how many times have you been in a shop looking for a general *something* and one of the folks on the sales team asks you if they can help, to which you respond “I need some new *insert season here* tops”, to which THEY respond “okay cool, what’s your style?”…and your mind goes absolutely blank…
If this sounds like you, then please keep reading to find out WHY this is happening.
1: The most common reason to this problem is following too many trends at once
- So hear me out. The quote “trends come and go, but style is forever” isn’t just a cute blurb for self proclaimed fashionistas, it’s absolutely 100% the truth, and for good reason. Let’s use something we all own in our wardrobes as an example - jeans. Once upon a time, low rise jeans were all anyone ever wore, then high rise, then mid rise and then back to high rise and somewhere in the mix of the dizzying spin on denim trends, maybe you lost sight of YOUR body and YOUR preferences and next thing you know, your 5’3” short torso-ed self is walking around town wearing 11.5” high rise denim up to your under boobs looking like someone just used the top half of your body for an intense game of Whac-A-Mole. Pair that rise with a wide legged light wash jean, a dark oversized crop top and chunky sneakers and you’ve just taken your beautiful 5’3” short torso-ed body and turned it into a 4’ no torso-ed body. It’s no wonder you don’t feel confident or connected to your wardrobe. When the trends you’re wearing are working against you, it’s time to reevaluate the importance of following them. That look might work GREAT on another body, but your body is yours and your style is yours, so if mid-rise dark-wash straight-legged denim makes you feel like a boss bitch when you put it on, then keep putting it on and keep buying it…even when no one else is. Side note: “Dressing for your age/sex” is also a trend worth reevaluating but that deserves a post all on its own, so let’s continue…
2: The second most important reason is likely an unorganized wardrobe
- Whether you have 5 pieces or 500 pieces in your wardrobe, organizing those pieces is essential for recognizing and supporting your personal style. Not only does something like color coding/organizing by sleeve length/seasons keep your wardrobe *aesthetic AF* but it also helps you see a visual representation on a daily basis of what color/cut/season you buy for most. Do you have 10 little black dresses? 12 different washes of denim trucker jackets? 435 white tshirts? Do you wear them all? Do you feel good in them? Yes yes yes yes and yes? Then that’s your personal style and you should probably stop forcing yourself to wear neons because “everyone else is.” But on the flip side, if you have all of those things and never wear them or feel like a victim of Whac-A-Mole when you do, it’s time to hit the nearest donation box and fill your wardrobe with neons, or plaid mini dresses or blazers with shoulder pads out the whazzo or whatever else makes YOU feel like YOU. Again, personal style is personal.
3: Lastly, your wardrobe might not match your lifestyle
- These all tie into one another but this point especially ties into the disorganized wardrobe one - meaning if you work 60+ hours a week in an office and hit the gym on the weekends and spend all of the rest of the time off that you can at home with your kiddos/pets/Netflix, then you prooooobably don’t need 10 different little black dresses in your wardrobe. Maybe call it even at 4. Use the space that you’d gain from being realistic about your lifestyle and ditching those 6 unworn little black dresses for some work/active/lounge wear. Find ways to express your personal style through your lifestyle and vice versa. Treat yourself to special event pieces but don’t forget who YOU are and how important it is to create a capsule wardrobe for the life that you live.